Email Funny

It’s emails like this one that leave me sitting here thinking of all manners of smart-ass responses:”I would love to slap your Ass and cunt hole !! “This email was courtesy of a 41 year-old-man. Happ_ Dominque:We both fully understand the consequence and know that we are very young but we feel like we are ready.(11 [...]
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Lelia:
I got this girls Snapchat from a friend I'm a sophomore she's a freshman (last semester) and I have never met her but she's really hot.
(12 June 2017)

Richard:
My mom doesn't think I did a good job taking care of a dog?
(12 June 2017)

Richard:
I don't even like combing my hair and too lazy to brush my teeth.
(12 June 2017)

Richard:
If I can't take a dog, why on earth do you think I can take care of kids?
(12 June 2017)

Peggy:
This guy i just met in the subway told me he wanted to pay me 150$ to take some pictures of me naked?
(12 June 2017)

Bruna:
Will a classic car attract girls?
(12 June 2017)

Bruna:
I can't go anywhere without them drooling over it.
(12 June 2017)

Bruna:
For now, I get alot of attention driving it but mostly from middle age white men.
(12 June 2017)

Bruna:
I could be a significant individual around town.
(12 June 2017)

Bruna:
I imagine I could look like a real pimp.
(12 June 2017)